Jesus in the Jam

Those of you in my central network have heard me rave about this passage for the past month or so and I'm still stuck on it.  Sorry I'm not sorry.

¹ Hannah prayed and said,  "My heart exults in the LORD; my strength is exalted in the LORD.
   My mouth derides my enemies, because  I rejoice in your salvation.² "There is none holy like the LORD; there is none besides you; there is no rock like our God.³ Talk no more so very proudly, let not arrogance come from your mouth for the LORD is a God of     
   knowledge, and by him actions are weighed.
⁴ The bows of the mighty are broken, but the feeble bind on strength.⁵Those who were full have hired themselves out for bread, but those who were hungry have ceased to      
   hunger. The barren has borne seven, but she who has many children is forlorn.
⁶ The LORD kills and brings to life; he brings down to Sheol and raises up.⁷ The LORD makes poor and makes rich; he brings low and he exalts.⁸ He raises up the poor from the dust; he lifts the needy from the ash heap to make them sit with princes
   and inherit a seat of honor. For the pillars of the earth are the LORD’s, and on them he has set the world.
 ⁹ "He will guard the feet of his faithful ones, but the wicked shall be cut off in darkness, for not by might shall a man prevail.
¹⁰ The adversaries of the LORD shall be broken to pieces; against them he will thunder in heaven. The LORD will judge the ends of the earth; he will give strength to his king and exalt the power of his anointed."


I live a charmed life by my own standards. I could try listing the ways God blesses me and not stop writing for days. But nevertheless I find myself questioning Him.  I've caught myself so many times pompously speaking to my Abba Father as though I deserve to understand how and why He works.  This passage and Hannah's story were so encouraging for me during a moment of confusion and pain this summer, and this week as I reviewed Hannah's sincere and faithful words I was reminded that the perfect plans our God put into place are not mine to attempt to decipher.  He requires of me a trusting and patient spirit, someone who waits upon His answer and timing.  
So many pieces of my world right now are open-ended mysteries and yesterday I was drowning in the quicksand of questioning my Father.  One thing after another just didn't make sense or didn't seem fair.  Funnily enough it was terrible traffic that God used as my rope to the safety of The Rock's solid ground.  
Sitting in the bumper to bumper I spent some time mindlessly repeating the portions of Hannah's prayer I've been memorizing and all of a sudden it dawned on me.  Hannah had the strength, courage, and faith to trust the Lord enough to relinquish control of her only child without question.  So can't I open my clenched fist and give God control over the issues I don't understand too? If I love my Jesus the way I say I do and if I trust in the providence and sovereignty of my Savior I will give Him complete power over my world and let curve-balls hit without swaying in my faith.  
Don't ever let me think God can't and doesn't use everything around us to work in our lives.  That was just the best traffic jam. 

Dear John,

I’m officially admitting it.  I’m in a funk. I’ve been reminding myself it happens to anyone who writes; so much so that they’ve even made movies about it. But that train of thought reminds me of The Shining and heaven forbid I follow Jack’s example and allow my writer’s block to murder some ski lodge resident’s with my ever handy axe. So I’m forcing myself to post.

My time at home as been wonderfully awkward.  Being with my mom and sister and the rest of the clan has been a delight, and I’ve already laughed so much my sides hurt just thinking about it.  However, if I’m being honest it was a little bit of a shock to re-enter reality after my whirlwind summer on cloud 9.  At this point I’m anxiously awaiting next Saturday when I can run into the arms of my beautiful Samford friends.  Shout out to Abby Boone, I can’t wait to tackle you rooms!

But during this 3-week stretch between a perfect summer and a fresh school year I’ve been filling many of my days with a brand new man.  Dark hair, infectious laugh, he’s exactly what I’m looking to fill my time with right now.  None of my friends have met him really, but he is the biggest cuddler I’ve ever met which suits my fancy just fine.  His name is John, and he’s such a doll.

You all know me better than to think I’d blog about a girly love interest.  John’s a 3-year old I’ve been babysitting during the day and he is perhaps one of the biggest tools God’s ever used to draw me closer to Him.

I could ramble about how sweet and funny this little boy is for pages.  Just last night I spent 10 minutes of a phone conversation gushing over him to a friend.  No need to stop reading though, I won’t do that here.  At least not today. 

My awkward time at home I’ve realized how much more intentional I need to be in turning to Christ for everything.  But yesterday John taught me such a lesson in the simplest of actions.  He’d gone down for a nap and about 4 minutes later I heard his little voice calling out ‘Mum mum mum!’ He’d startled at something and woken up, immediately calling out for his momma.  No one had to teach him, it’s just his instinctual reaction to turn to her for help, love, guidance, etc. As a human I try and find those things in the world, when the truth is only Jesus Christ can provide them.  John’s sweet voice was such a reminder that I need to change my instinctual reaction and cry out Abba Father every chance I get.