Beautiful Insomnia

The older I get the more I hear, 'You look just like your mother!' 
I, for one, have always thought the pictures of my mom from her 20's and 30's are just plain gorgeous, so that exclamation always leaves me extremely flattered. 

Aside from looks I get my affection for books and words from my sweet momma, and my love for Scrabble.  I cry when someone really gets me laughing just like she does, and then there's the infamous Diet Dr. Pepper obsession. I can talk on the phone for hours and I have my own personal Dana for a best friend. (Will the real Abigail Boone please stand up..)   

I am so proud to be Jill Craig's daughter.  She shared everything she owned; every article of clothing, every bag of chips, every blanket, literally everything, and if I went to a Hindu school my friends would probably think she is Mother Theresa reincarnated the way I talk about her sometimes..but there is one thing I wish she'd kept all for herself.  

Insomnia. That's right Ms. Craig...you're getting the blame for this one.  I'll take credit for the forgetfulness and the bad handwriting, but the sleeping issues are ALL on you.

I am thankful for the stern words that taught me how to behave in public like a lady. I'm grateful for the spankings (they were few, I was the model child right Mom?) that taught me not to back-talk. I'm appreciative of the 'ridiculous' expectations she had for me to do my very best no matter what that meant. But I have to be honest, when I wake up 5 hours before my alarm and there's no chance of going back to sleep, I don't feel very thankful for the anti-sleeping gene. 

At 4:07 in the morning I'd had quite enough, but then I had a momentary lapse in my fury and realized that I find some of the coolest moments in the Bible when I'm up reading God's Word by candle-light at all hours of the night so as not to wake my roommate.  What I counted a curse is actually a blessing in disguise. No wonder my wonderful momma is such a strong woman of God, for all these years she's been getting a head-start on her Bible study by about extra 4 hours. 

I emailed her this morning to share this little thought with her, and then I thought I'd help mother, teacher, best friend Jill Craig pass her lesson along to an even wider community of children.  I don't have any lessons from God's Word this morning, but a beloved follower of Christ can teach us something with her unfortunate abnormality.  Sleep is needed for your physical health, but what does that physical health matter if you aren't nurturing your spiritual health too? Mom, you gave me the strange gift of super-human sleeping patterns and boy am I blessed to get that extra time with Jesus so many mornings. 

So thank you for the spankings, the shuttling to and fro, and the food you let me bite off. Those things represent a relationship between a mother and daughter that I would be so lost without.  But even more than a mother and friend, as my sister in Christ thank you for raising this insomniac to love Jesus so I can spend my extra 4 waking hours letting my Abba Father pursue me with His Word. 

Ugandan Bricks of Truth

This morning my church had the great pleasure of hearing the beautifully sobering story of Katie Davis, a 21-year-old American woman who is now the mother to 13 precious Ugandan girls. Her journey starts with a one year commitment to teach at an orphanage in Uganda when she was just a green 18-year-old right out of high school.  Almost four years later and God's sovereign plan has led her to a life of full-time mission work and single motherhood in a third world country.  I think I can safely speak for my Brookhills church family when I say we were all blown away by her obedience to the Lord's radical will.  But she simply asked us to consider, "How could I not say yes to Him?" Convicting doesn't even begin to describe that question.

Let's be honest. I was in tears and about ready to jump on a plane before she even finished speaking. And then she said something my heart really needed to hear.

Love the person in front of you.

I feel so selfish in college sometimes.  Maybe I'm alone in this, but it can be so difficult to pour into others when the whole point of school is to take care of yourself so you can do well in class. Sometimes I get so frustrated with that selfish feeling that I just want to skip this step of life and move on to the part where God lets me fulfill my calling. Katie Davis gave me a much needed reminding... Wake-up call Lacy, you can and should be fulfilling God's calling for you right now! I'm not just called to love people someday when I go wherever God sends me.  I don't have to wait till I'm ministering to children, college students, or women, in Alabama, Kentucky, or Ecuador...or to whomever and wherever God leads me.  I am a light on my campus this very evening. What a simple-minded epiphany.  I know I'm an ambassador for Christ every day, but something about the way it was said today just clicked differently.  Love the person in front of me. Love the cafeteria worker who won't take my number so I have to walk all the way home to get my card. Love the friend who borrows your headphones and never returns them. Love the brown-nosing classmate who obnoxiously answers everything right. Love your best friend, love your roommate, love your professor.  Love the person in front of you, no matter who it is or how they treat you. Such a straightforward truth but boy did it hit me like a ton of bricks. 

Uganda is so blessed by the obedience of God's faithful daughter Katie Davis, and I'm praising my sweet Jesus for the bricks she threw at me today too. 

More Organ

Be Thou my vision, O Lord of my heart
Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art
Thou my best thought by day or by night
Waking or sleeping Thy presence my light
Be thou my wisdom and Thou my true word
I ever with Thee and Thou with me, Lord
Thou my great Father, I Thy true son
Thou in me dwelling and I with Thee one
Riches I heed not nor man's emptly praise
Thou mine inheritance now and always
Thou and thou only first in my heart
High King of heaven my treasure Thou are
High King of heaven my victory won
May I reach heaven's joys, O bright heaven's Sun
Heart of my own heart whatever befall
Still be my vision O Ruler of all

                                -Be Thou My Vision, Irish Hymn

I love hymns. As a member of Generation Y and a product of the digital age I realize I'm supposed to want hip church music with smoke and colored flashing lights and a loud bass that beats the bible's off the pew. But, I'd rather hear an organ and a small church choir any day. I'm one of those old-fashioned brats who misses searching through the hymnal for hymn number 684.  Now I don't agree with mindless worship; I despise passionless, impersonal praise of my sweet Savior. But look at the words of Be Thou My Vision... How can you find more passion and purpose than what stands behind those? 

I deeply desire to live out these lyrics. I crave Jesus. Radical as it may be, all day a thought has been flashing through my head that would make many of my Samford counterparts shiver and stare blankly at me. 

My prayer today is that Jesus will take my world from me.  Release me from the hold that clothes, electronics, friends, relationships, and the list goes on, have on me.  I want to want nothing but Jesus, and today I'm closer to that than I've ever been before.  

Be Thou my vision sweet Jesus. Give me joy in the infinite treasure You are instead of the temporary pleasures I've found in this life.  

Go read that delightful hymn again.  I can't find the right letters on this keyboard for my words today...

Troubled Hearts Take Heart

This past week I've talked to so many of my beloved friends who feel like life is swallowing them whole. If you've read my last few entries you'll know I'm not accustomed to that notion myself this semester... But I've found the perfect verse to cling to and after so many of my dear one's expressing such troubled hearts lately I can't help but spread the perfection around a little. 

"I have said these things to you, that in Me you may have peace.  In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world."  

John 16:33

Like those multi-colored watercolors God uses to fill the sky with His promises, this verse is a rock-solid reminder of the covenant of my Abba Father. 'Life is hard, then you die.'  That brash worldly sentiment displayed on many a bumper sticker doesn't account for the joys Jesus brings us in this life, but it isn't totally false.  John 16:33 promises that as Christians we will suffer.  Following Christ doesn't ensure a sense of security or save us from the pains the rest of the world suffers from.  In fact, instead of guarding against them, following Christ guarantees struggles.  But when you have Jesus to lean on that brash saying needs to be altered just a bit.  Life is hard, so Jesus lived it.  He knows just what we're feeling as we feel it. Every changing emotion, every lumpy throat or welling scream also flashed through Jesus' body.  His heart beat the same as mine does, so it fell to the pit of His stomach just like mine does too. He knows, fully and completely.  

This world is full of difficult days, exhaustive work, tearful nights.  Jesus guaranteed the overwhelming feelings of loneliness and stress that wage war on us.  He isn't surprised by them and when they sneak up on us we can take solace in the thought that He planned for them ahead of time. And an even more brilliant and comforting concept is the truth that He overcame this difficult, exhaustive, tearful world.  Jesus lived in it, died in it, and rose and walked in it again.  Jesus wraps us in a love that already defeated the pains we fight feeling every day. 

This verse doesn't even need the meager explanation I've given.  Amidst the stress and strain of the world we don't need to feel beaten and battered, because Jesus holds us firmly in His sin-conquering hand.  

Three Little Words

I was playing around on Pinterest last night and this graphic just captured my attention for some reason.  I knew the premise of the verse Micah 6:8, but reading the words over top those nature pictures I felt like it was missing something. So naturally, the nerdy researcher I am, I looked it up.  The ESV version of this verse says, 


"He has told you, O man, what is good;
   and what does the LORD require of you
but to do justice, and to love kindness,

   and to walk humbly with your God?"

I'm an extreme people-pleaser. I get my joy from loving on other people. Sometimes I feel like it's a sickness how willingly I drop my own responsibilities to help someone else with theirs. Now yes, I'm aware that as self-less as that sounds it is in fact all a selfish facade.  I don't help people just because they need it. Mostly it makes me feel good when I can relieve someone's stress and put a smile on their face.  In a way it's my own form of stress relief.  

But the thing is, being a people-pleaser, showing kindness and mercy and loving on others can only bring true satisfaction when I'm living out the last part of that verse too. They may be monosyllabic, but those three words the picture left out are kind of the most important piece.

With.

Your.

God.

If I'm simply relying on myself to bring light and peace and joy into the lives of others I'm going to fail miserably every time.  I'm a naturally dark being. I'm a sinner and I know nothing of true sacrifice or suffering on the behalf of others, so how can I truly grasp what it means to show mercy? My kindness will always have a hidden motive lurking in the shadows. What justice can I dish out when I have a list of transgressions longer than the distance from Earth to that icy rock Pluto?  

That's where those three words come in.  My God steps in, and boy oh boy does He know a thing or two about suffering, sacrifice, and living a wholly sinless life.  When I'm walking with my Savior He can take that selfish people-pleaser and use her trait to bring Light to others.  Without Him the true goodness in mercy and kindness are lost but when I walk with Him I can lean on His shoulder to help me do good and trust that I'm making an actual impact.  

So I'll aim to do justly, love mercy and walk humbly, but not with the goal of spreading empty smiles. I'll only be able to truly live out Micah 6:8 if I'm in fellowship with my Jesus; for then and only then will people see HIS love, HIS mercy, HIS humility, and therefore be able to accept HIS justice and run to Him as their Savior too. 

With God as my Atlas...

"One thing You've told me, is You are good and You love me..." - Jon Foreman, 'Your Love is Strong'


Two and a half weeks into a fresh school year and my Abba Father has blown me away. I knew it would be a struggle to live out my faith on campus in the ways Jesus called me to this summer, but struggle doesn't even begin to cover it. Between family health issues, 5 hebrew tests, and disaffiliation from my strongest support system I've literally had to lean on Jesus every second.  It's felt a little like I'm that statue Atlas holding the world on my back and it's slowly turning to a rock-solid stone.  And I don't lift weights...so that's just not working for me.
After a day of almost complete breakdown I had quite a delightful epiphany. I don't have to hold that stone world up. Jesus does it for me.
All semester I haven't been able to talk to a single sorority girl.  As part of my job in the rush process (it's complicated, I'll spare you the details, but let the record show I can't WAIT for Monday at 5:30 when I get my girls back again) I can't speak to members of the Samford sorority community in public.  So amidst a stressful and emotional couple weeks I haven't had my support system to fall on and let me tell you right now, I didn't even realize how much I depend on my friends.
But Jesus just took that need right away from me. It's funny how quickly I forget the things I learn from my Savior.  My summer was centered on placing my complete faith in Christ and all of a sudden I get back to school and I lose my mind. But tonight I'm remembering that when my burden feels too heavy to bear I have the ultimate friend to turn to, no matter which girls I can claim as confidants at the moment.
I don't know what else this school year will bring. The way it's looking so far God's really giving me some chances to use everything I learned in Destin, FL about my faith and my relationship with Him.  But my soundtrack for this exhaustive and emotional week is (along with Ben Rector's new CD, listen and let your ears be blessed) Your Love is Strong by Jon Foreman. With all the uncertainties swirling around me I can rest in the steady knowledge that my Abba is good, He loves me with a strong love and He's always there to hold me.
No magnitude of homework, loneliness, stress or cancer can shrink that infinite truth.

Jesus in the Jam

Those of you in my central network have heard me rave about this passage for the past month or so and I'm still stuck on it.  Sorry I'm not sorry.

¹ Hannah prayed and said,  "My heart exults in the LORD; my strength is exalted in the LORD.
   My mouth derides my enemies, because  I rejoice in your salvation.² "There is none holy like the LORD; there is none besides you; there is no rock like our God.³ Talk no more so very proudly, let not arrogance come from your mouth for the LORD is a God of     
   knowledge, and by him actions are weighed.
⁴ The bows of the mighty are broken, but the feeble bind on strength.⁵Those who were full have hired themselves out for bread, but those who were hungry have ceased to      
   hunger. The barren has borne seven, but she who has many children is forlorn.
⁶ The LORD kills and brings to life; he brings down to Sheol and raises up.⁷ The LORD makes poor and makes rich; he brings low and he exalts.⁸ He raises up the poor from the dust; he lifts the needy from the ash heap to make them sit with princes
   and inherit a seat of honor. For the pillars of the earth are the LORD’s, and on them he has set the world.
 ⁹ "He will guard the feet of his faithful ones, but the wicked shall be cut off in darkness, for not by might shall a man prevail.
¹⁰ The adversaries of the LORD shall be broken to pieces; against them he will thunder in heaven. The LORD will judge the ends of the earth; he will give strength to his king and exalt the power of his anointed."


I live a charmed life by my own standards. I could try listing the ways God blesses me and not stop writing for days. But nevertheless I find myself questioning Him.  I've caught myself so many times pompously speaking to my Abba Father as though I deserve to understand how and why He works.  This passage and Hannah's story were so encouraging for me during a moment of confusion and pain this summer, and this week as I reviewed Hannah's sincere and faithful words I was reminded that the perfect plans our God put into place are not mine to attempt to decipher.  He requires of me a trusting and patient spirit, someone who waits upon His answer and timing.  
So many pieces of my world right now are open-ended mysteries and yesterday I was drowning in the quicksand of questioning my Father.  One thing after another just didn't make sense or didn't seem fair.  Funnily enough it was terrible traffic that God used as my rope to the safety of The Rock's solid ground.  
Sitting in the bumper to bumper I spent some time mindlessly repeating the portions of Hannah's prayer I've been memorizing and all of a sudden it dawned on me.  Hannah had the strength, courage, and faith to trust the Lord enough to relinquish control of her only child without question.  So can't I open my clenched fist and give God control over the issues I don't understand too? If I love my Jesus the way I say I do and if I trust in the providence and sovereignty of my Savior I will give Him complete power over my world and let curve-balls hit without swaying in my faith.  
Don't ever let me think God can't and doesn't use everything around us to work in our lives.  That was just the best traffic jam. 

Dear John,

I’m officially admitting it.  I’m in a funk. I’ve been reminding myself it happens to anyone who writes; so much so that they’ve even made movies about it. But that train of thought reminds me of The Shining and heaven forbid I follow Jack’s example and allow my writer’s block to murder some ski lodge resident’s with my ever handy axe. So I’m forcing myself to post.

My time at home as been wonderfully awkward.  Being with my mom and sister and the rest of the clan has been a delight, and I’ve already laughed so much my sides hurt just thinking about it.  However, if I’m being honest it was a little bit of a shock to re-enter reality after my whirlwind summer on cloud 9.  At this point I’m anxiously awaiting next Saturday when I can run into the arms of my beautiful Samford friends.  Shout out to Abby Boone, I can’t wait to tackle you rooms!

But during this 3-week stretch between a perfect summer and a fresh school year I’ve been filling many of my days with a brand new man.  Dark hair, infectious laugh, he’s exactly what I’m looking to fill my time with right now.  None of my friends have met him really, but he is the biggest cuddler I’ve ever met which suits my fancy just fine.  His name is John, and he’s such a doll.

You all know me better than to think I’d blog about a girly love interest.  John’s a 3-year old I’ve been babysitting during the day and he is perhaps one of the biggest tools God’s ever used to draw me closer to Him.

I could ramble about how sweet and funny this little boy is for pages.  Just last night I spent 10 minutes of a phone conversation gushing over him to a friend.  No need to stop reading though, I won’t do that here.  At least not today. 

My awkward time at home I’ve realized how much more intentional I need to be in turning to Christ for everything.  But yesterday John taught me such a lesson in the simplest of actions.  He’d gone down for a nap and about 4 minutes later I heard his little voice calling out ‘Mum mum mum!’ He’d startled at something and woken up, immediately calling out for his momma.  No one had to teach him, it’s just his instinctual reaction to turn to her for help, love, guidance, etc. As a human I try and find those things in the world, when the truth is only Jesus Christ can provide them.  John’s sweet voice was such a reminder that I need to change my instinctual reaction and cry out Abba Father every chance I get. 

What a Friend we have...

As this portion of my summer comes to a close I am gathering up all the parts of me that have grown and viewing the woman God re-created this summer.  He spent a year ripping out each individual thread of my being so He could stitch me back together following His pattern instead of my own sloppy one. 

Revelation 7:9-10

"After this I looked and there before me was a great multitude that no one could count, from every nation, tribe, people and language, standing before the throne and in front of the Lamb. They were wearing white robes and were holding palm branches in their hands. And they cried out in a loud voice: 'Salvation belongs to our God, who sits on the throne, and to the Lamb.'"

I have felt a sense of homesickness for my eternal home before, missing my Abba Father and longing for the day when the pain and salty tears of the earth will leave me forever. But more than that, as we discussed those verses in Revelation last night, I realized that I miss my sweet sweet Jesus. I’ve identified the feeling of homesickness for my true home and the peace it will bring.  I’ve understood that I miss God the Father, my Daddy in Heaven; I take joy and comfort in the Holy Spirit’s constant presence; but Jesus is in Heaven and last night I was struck with an intense missing Him.

When I leave here on Monday I will miss the relationships I’ve formed here.  I currently miss my school friends, my sister, and most of all my mom.  Those people all know me so well and that’s why I do and will miss them.  I desire the comfort that comes from having your loved one’s close by.  More than anyone on earth Jesus knows my heart to it’s very fullest.  He took my sin and not only saw it, but also felt it, experienced it, suffered and died for it.  He took the full blame and the full punishment for it.  He knows the sins even I can’t remember and sees the depth of the sin I’ll never admit to anyone.  And yet, after all that, He keeps no record of my wrongs.  He doesn’t harbor anger or hostility towards me for the price my sin cost Him.  He isn’t self-righteous, though He has every right to be.  My Jesus Messiah doesn’t shun me with the knowledge of the darkest pits and depths of my sin.  He embraces the rotten, filthy, dank pit that is my soul and fills it with His love till it’s overflowing.  My selfish pride, vanity, gossiping, etc, held him bound by nails to a cross for gut-wrenching hours and somehow He sits in heaven today fully understanding all of that and pouring His love in heaps and bounds out on me anyway. 

How could I not miss such an indescribable perfect Savior? What a glorious day it will be when I am given that white robe to forever truly offer my entire self to worship my Jesus Messiah, Name above all names.  

Pretty Woman

A good friend this week pointed me towards some verses in I Peter that have been on my mind ever since. 

I Peter 3:3-4 says, “Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as the braiding of hair and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes.  Instead it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.”

My week of practicing the fruits of the spirit has been trying but exhilarating.  It most certainly pushed me to rely on the Lord in a very constant way. Don’t be intimidated, I didn’t do the best of jobs. But it was refreshing to find such dependence on the Lord. 

I’m not giving up the fruits; my mangoes and pineapples and grapes and oranges are all staying in my fruit basket as best as I can make them fit.  But this week I’m caught with these verses from I Peter in my mind. I truly and completely desire to be a strong woman of the Lord, one like my best friend and Mom always modeled for me.  A gentle and quiet spirit. Someone who loves the Father above all else and embraces being His daughter.  Someone who is forgiving, doesn’t gossip, practices intentionality and pours kindness onto everyone she meets.  
Often as women we find our beauty in our physical attributes, our great sense of style, our name brand clothing or the classy way we apply makeup.  But this week I’ve just been longing to desire to gush that kindness and gentle spirit on those around me. I pray that God will change my desires from that of worldly beauty to a spirit wholly pleasing to my King.  I know the Most High treasures me and it isn’t even enough to present Him with my stumbling gentle spirit, but I want above all else to behave in a manner that my Abba finds ‘great worth’ in. 

Asian Persuasion

             This week I built relationships with some very unlikely characters.  First came my sweet foreign coworkers who are living here for the summer through a program with their school in China. 

            Last week we took them all bowling.  It was a hodge-podge group for sure, but it turned out to be one of the best nights of my summer thus far.  One girl in particular has stolen my heart.  Nikki is an English major back in China, and she desires to be a translator someday so her English is pretty well developed.  She stands about 4’ll but has a smile that makes up for her small stature.  That night we bonded over our horrid bowling abilities, had numerous girly bursts of laughter, and whispered about her small crush on one of the boys in her program.  Then, a Buddhist bracelet she had given me as a gift brought up a conversation about my faith, which snowballed into a fervent interrogation where she asked me question after question.  I gave her some verses to go home and find on the internet, and we promised to continue our conversation as soon as possible.

            Now fast forward to Sunday evening at our Beach Project Co-worker Picnic.  Nikki was thrilled to be there, and finally she brought up the verses she’d read, and admitted that while she understood what they said she felt she needed a real life example to truly grasp their meaning.  At that exact moment my friend Josh got up to share his testimony, and Nikki listened with rapt attention. 

            Afterwards, she turned to me with tears in her eyes.  In her soft-spoken voice she told me she just wanted to go back to China and tell everyone she knew about this love, but that she needed to figure out how she could be a Christian first.  I was so overwhelmed and hardly knew what to say, but we talked a bit more and then decided she would really think about the weight of that decision over the next few days and we’d meet together Wednesday night. 

            I’m desperately praying for the Lord to call Nikki to Him.  Her questions and searching are such an encouragement, and I’d ask everyone pray for my darling new Chinese best friend as she searches for God’s love and gets closer to making the decision to follow Christ. 

            My new friends aren’t isolated to the Eastern Hemisphere.  I also had the pleasure of chatting with a cheerful man named Richard for the good part of an hour this week.  He is a pretty regular customer at the Golden Arches and we got to have some discussion about God and the sinner’s in the church.  Richard is an agnostic, and he was pretty open about how the negative experiences he’s had with members of the church caused him to turn against it. Richard definitely gave me a chance to brush up on the old debate skills, but we parted as friends and I can’t wait to run into him again.  My prayers are also with Richard this week; I ache for him to see that as hateful as church members have been towards him God is that much and even more loving. 

            Pray that I will be bold in my faith in all my conversations with these unlikely friends.  And Wednesday Nikki is teaching me to cook some traditional Chinese recipes… So pray I don’t poison us in the process.  

Mango Love, Pineapple Patience

Growing up I knew that as a Christian people should be able to see fruit in your life.  Not pineapples or mangos (both of which are new smoothie flavors at McDonald’s this week, go check them out!) but the fruits of the spirit.  Galatians 5:22-23 says, "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law."  An extremely common passage, but boy am I re-learning how to actually live that out this summer. 

Today I overheard one of my more antagonizing co-workers tell another girl from Beach Project to ‘lighten up’, because he ‘only likes to rile up the missionary girls.’ That’s what I am to him, a missionary girl.  So it is completely my responsibility to show him what that term means. Christian, little Christ, missionary girl, Jesus Freak. Pick your label, I am comprehending today what the full weight of my title at McDonald’s this summer really means and the affect it should have on my actions.  So from now on, the goal isn’t to get my serving times in the 90’s or to pass out each tray with the perfectly arranged order, because those things don’t really matter at all.  When eternity stares my co-workers in the face they won’t be answering to the Lord about the quality or fries they made in this life. So I’m done stressing about the amount of money our store earns in an hour, and I’m going to start focusing on bearing my fruit.

Love, when a customer makes a wrongly directed spiteful comment.

Joy, when the hours in the workday multiply with every tick of the clock hand.

Peace, when the lobby is full of impatient guests and you’re the only cashier taking orders.

Patience, when your sweet foreign co-worker takes 10 minutes to make a small fry.

Kindness, when the new trainee has to ask where the grape jelly is 36 different times.

Goodness, when it’s already 15 minutes past your shift end and they beg you to stay another half hour to cover the labor shortage.

Faithfulness, when you just don’t feel like getting up at 4:00 a.m. for work but you show up smiling anyway.

Gentleness, when stress bubbles explode and the opportunity comes to yell back or smile and quietly continue.

Self-Control, when a chocolate milkshake is made instead of the requested vanilla and it gets offered to you before the trashcan.

But if I just don’t eat the whipped cream topping on those milkshakes I’d say that’s avoiding gluttony pretty well, wouldn’t you? 

Identity

I am Lacy Craig; daughter of the caring, sweet and forgiving Jill Craig; sister of the talented, passionate and confident-in-Christ Brodie Craig.. I am a writer, and a painter, and I love to laugh and talk with my friends.  I love being girly but surprise people by my affinity for the outdoors.  I go to the good ole’ Samford U. and love my journalism major.

I’m a pro at owning that self-description.  When asked the timeless interview question, what are three words to describe you, I am ever prepared to answer ‘creative, a leader, and outgoing.”  But that’s not who I am. 

Beneath the surface of that bubbly people-person is a wildly insecure girl.  Who’s surprised? No one? I figured as much.  I’m not very good at hiding it.  Like so many women, and men even if they deny it, I struggle with feeling unwanted, undeserving, and worthless.  I’ve searched for my satisfaction and self-worth in the approval of others, in the love of my absent father, in my weight and appearance, and I’m here to tell you I never found Waldo on those pages of my life. 

So as a Christian I’m not defined by my appearance, by my popularity, by my earthly dad’s love or lack thereof, by how interesting I am to others, or by who wants to know me…that list could go on forever. But instead my relationship with Jesus Christ means something so wonderful it’s all I can do not to shout it. 

In Christ I was made a new creation. The old has gone, and the new has come. 

II Corinthians 5:17

Because of Christ, NOW I AM….

…a receiver of God’s grace that far supersedes my worst sin. 

“Where sin increased, grace abounded all the more.” Romans 5:20

I am forgiven all my sins.

“In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of His grace which he LAVISHED upon us.”  Ephesians 1:7

I am able to walk worthy of the Lord. 

“so as to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to Him, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God.”  Colossians 1:10

I am blameless.

“And you who were dead in your trespasses, God made alive together with Him, having forgiven us all our trespasses by cancelling the record of debt that stood against us.”  Colossians 2:12-15

I am ACCEPTED in the Beloved. 

“We are adopted as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of His will, to the praise of His glorious grace, with which He has blessed us in the Beloved.”  Ephesians 1:6

I am CHOSEN.

“For we know, brothers loved by God, that He has chosen you…” I Thessalonians 1:4

“And by the grace of God I am what I am, and His grace to me was not in vain.  On the contrary, I worked harder than any of them, though it was NOT I, but the grace of God that was with me.”  I Corinthians 15:10

Big-Mac People

"Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun." My cool Aunt Traci taught me that song when I was somewhere in my pre-teen years. I'm sure she never thought I'd be singing it in my head while actually working at McDonald's. Neither did I. But it's a good thing she was there to fill my head with useless (at the time) knowledge, because its allowed for grand success at work.  Today was my first day on the grill line, so I was part of the team that so carefully and sanitarily puts together our devoted customers food.  Good thing sarcasm doesn't come across well in writing...


If there was a Big-Mac stacking component to the summer Olympics I'd for sure take the gold.  When orders are slow there's not a lot to do so I've perfected the perfect placement of the patties, the precise combination of lettuce and onions, the exact alignment of bun on bun on bun. That wasn't a typo, for those of you who got scared by the movie Super-Size Me, the Big-Mac has a special middle bun that really gives it the edge over other burgers.


Big-Macs are my favorite thing to make for sure, but I hate when people ask for one without onions, or pickles, or with extra sauce, etc. It completely destroys the perfect original design.  During my long streak of Big-Mac making today I thought about how each ingredient offers a different flavor to the sandwich.  In the same way, each member of the body of Christ brings a different flavor, or gift, to the Kingdom. That knowledge is pretty common, it seems like every church does a sermon series on I Corinthians 12:12-31 about the necessity of different parts of the body. But I had an obvious revelation today. Not only does the body work best as a whole, instead of separate parts, but God is most well pleased then too.  Just like I hate when people change the flavor of the sandwich that is so genius in its design, God must get frustrated when the members of His church don't all adequately use their abilities to serve Him as best they can.  Some of us are onions and add a little heat, some of us are pickles for a little zest, and we all know those 'special' brothers or sisters in Christ that we can't make fit in our minds, but they might just be the special sauce that makes the burger what it is. It's not my decision where anyone else fits into God's plan, and it isn't theirs either. It's God's.  When we try to take away the importance of other's roles, it's like subtracting from a Big-Mac. It ruins the quality. God can still use it, but His original design is always better than our own.


All that from a Big-Mac.  Needless to say, the grill line isn't a very social place...

Fry-Girl

Today I was the fry-girl at good ole' Mickey D's.  Usually I work the front register and constantly get to flash customers a smile, slyly bring up our ministry in Destin this summer, and draw conversations back to the Lord.  It isn't much, but it's just enough to feel like I'm fulfilling the goal of showing people the gospel at work this summer.
But being fry-girl was a totally different job description. I stood with my back to everyone else and the most conversation I had was to shout, "30 more seconds on the large and two mediums!" in response to a call for more fries for an order.  My sole companion was a scalding stainless steel monster.  My hands and face were covered in a film of oil by the end of the day, but don't worry I've already dug out the ProActiv to fight it.  The worst moment was when I got a little too enthusiastic and swung the metal fry basket straight onto my fair skin.  I now have six raised lines burned into my arm from wires that melted right into my skin.  
The silence of today allowed for time to reflect on all those trying aspects of being fry-girl. But a bigger struggle today than grease and heat was with humbleness.  Of all the jobs at McDonald's making fries has by far been my least favorite.  I just kept thinking how pointless it was. I am a strong Christian for crying out loud. Shouldn't God have been using me to witness like every other day? I didn't even get to mention beach project once.  How could that have been a productive day for the King? They should have put someone else there, that job was not the right place for me...
Those were my my thoughts as the day progressed. It wasn't till the drive home as I was about to open my pompous mouth and complain that I realized what a perfect picture of the Gospel fry-girl was for me.
Every time I filled fry orders more had to be made. My job was never done, there were always more orders to complete. No one said thank you, most people didn't even acknowledge me or the work I was doing to make their lives easier. Isn't that exactly what Jesus does for us every day? He constantly forgives and loves us, with no adequate thank you's or even acknowledgment of His goodness.  My single day of struggle is a miniature image of what Jesus feels every day of my life.
Tomorrow when I go in, I'm going to offer to be the fry-girl again. Not to beat the evil fry machine in the battle it waged today, but to take another shot at living like Christ.  I'll smile, be cheerful, and not show a single bit of discontent with my down-trodden position, because when I'm labeled a Christian, or little Christ, it means acting like He would. Loving and giving without expecting anything in return.
And when I take the bandage off my burn maybe I'll post a picture. It's the cool kind of gross.

Whirldwind Two Weeks

Summer Beach Project has been a draining two weeks.  I can personally say I will never again silently look down upon a fast food worker when they fail to get my order right or don’t take it quick enough.  The emotional conversations here are enough to make me want to sleep for 10 hours every night, but for those of you who know me you know I’d never do that. It’s possible I have permanent sunburn, and my freckles have made a roaring appearance.  My feet need some attention, after standing on them all day and not taking the time to re-paint my toenails they are screaming at me to buck-up and pay for a pedicure. But I don’t get paid till Friday, and I’m practicing being a good steward of my money, so I doubt that will happen.  To top it all off, even as I write this the local ice cream truck has made its daily appearance.  It may sound just darling, but the song blaring from its car-top bullhorn is enough to make me want to pull a Carrie Underwood and take a Louisville Slugger to it. 

But I don’t ever want to leave. Nothing I’ve mentioned is bad, I truly love it all.

McDonald’s is such a humbling experience.  I am more educated than many of the people I stand across the counter from everyday, but they treat me like scum. Why? Because I am scum.  God has really been showing me this summer that I am no better than anyone else. If I truly believe that all sin is the same like I so often claim to, then I will never again look at someone else and think to myself, ‘Well, at least I don’t do THAT. God must love me a little more.’  I’ve been taken down a peg or two, and even though I didn’t realize I needed that I am forever grateful to the Golden Arches. 

My relationships at Beach Project are deeper than I ever thought relationships could get.  Everyone is so vulnerable and lays all their cards on the table.  The Godly relationships being built daily are such a wonderful gift from the Lord.  My Christian community is getting so much stronger and as I think about heading back to Samford in the fall and having to live for Him instead of myself, I am so thankful I’ll have many of these new relationships alongside me to hold me accountable each and every day. 

A better writer than myself would have a creative bit about how the ice cream truck relates to their relationship with the Lord and therefore they are thankful for it. But sadly, I just want to tear out its mechanical vocal cords.  I’ll work on my hateful feelings and get back to you though. God has revealed Himself everywhere else this summer; I don’t doubt He can use an ice-cream truck too. 

Abba Father

It's a good thing this isn't for a grade anymore. I really should post more often. Don't fret though, my laptop is full of blog's that I never got the energy to edit and therefore never posted.. Someday maybe I'll be one of those obnoxious nobody's who publishes a book. I won't have enough to say, so I'll include my saved but never published blog entries and then you can read all about the last month and a half of 2011.


Tori, I miss you. It's hurting me how far away you are right now, and I wish I could spill all the things the Lord has shown me out on the floor in front of you to dissect and gush and pray over together.  Don't worry, I'm keeping my journals with a feisty vigilance this summer so you won't miss a beat when we're reunited.


Father's day just passed. I lived through it. I wish I had more poetic words but all the perfect descriptor is pretty simple. Bad day. It pains me that the man I should love more than any other man in the world at this stage of my life may not  be spending eternity with my King. I ask for your continued prayers that my daddy will come running back to Christ's arms and starts living for the Lord.  I am desperate for him to know God. I have full confidence that God is so sovereign that He will restore my relationship with my dad someday. I can't wait till that happens, and if you're praying I'd ask that to be on your hearts as well.


I spent most of yesterday in prayer, even when I was around others. I celebrated my Heavenly Father on Father's day, and thanked Him for all His blessings and His constant presence even in the times it seems nothing could ever be good again. God is just so GREAT. If you're reading this and lost, I urge you to find out more about my Abba Father.


Another blog is about to follow this. I realize the kosher thing is to spread them out...but I only have internet every so often so you'll just have to read twice as much. Sorry:)

NEWS UPDATE

Quick updates:
-I'm spending my summer in Destin, Florida evangelizing to the local people while gettin' my tan (sunburn) on.
-My Abba Father has shown me His awesome forgiveness and redemption lately.
-Semi-formal is Friday. I still don't have shoes.


There's a wasp in the corner of my ceiling right now. I can't kill it because that would be sick, but I can't leave it because my pale skin is crying out to be stung.
Help?

Humbled.

The rains came down and the floods came up here a couple days ago. The creek across the street from school called the Cahaba River turned from a trickle to a rushing tide that met the road.  The running trail was covered, standing water made for driving hazards, and rain boots were a necessity to every girl on campus. I moped around, complaining that rain was just dreadful when you had places to be...
Then tonight an entire countryside including the capital city of Japan felt the impact of a true natural disaster.  This is me, eating my words.  I'm brought to my knees by the extensive damage an earthquake of 8.4 caliber can cause.  Homes, towns, lives destroyed with one solid shake and a massive burst of water.  We rush around this earth using and abusing our resources as though we are in control; as though we're stronger than everything around us.  But all it takes is the shifting of some dirt way under the Earth's surface and some combined water molecules and our worlds are turned upside down.
Tonight I'm up preparing for my trip to dirty Destin, excited and not really able to sleep. My biggest issue this week was a day of rain that intercepted a few of my plans. Heaven forbid I have to take an extra two minutes to put my rain boots on in the morning..  So I'm floored.
Humbled.
Praying for the people of Japan. May their hearts be softened to you in this time of unrest.
Praying for a wiser heart. Thank you Lord for the reminder that I'm just a speck in comparison to the rest of Your creation, and I am so blessed to live the life I lead.