Thursday, September 29, 2011

More Organ


Be Thou my vision, O Lord of my heart
Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art
Thou my best thought by day or by night
Waking or sleeping Thy presence my light
Be thou my wisdom and Thou my true word
I ever with Thee and Thou with me, Lord
Thou my great Father, I Thy true son
Thou in me dwelling and I with Thee one
Riches I heed not nor man's emptly praise
Thou mine inheritance now and always
Thou and thou only first in my heart
High King of heaven my treasure Thou are
High King of heaven my victory won
May I reach heaven's joys, O bright heaven's Sun
Heart of my own heart whatever befall
Still be my vision O Ruler of all

                                -Be Thou My Vision, Irish Hymn

I love hymns. As a member of Generation Y and a product of the digital age I realize I'm supposed to want hip church music with smoke and colored flashing lights and a loud bass that beats the bible's off the pew. But, I'd rather hear an organ and a small church choir any day. I'm one of those old-fashioned brats who misses searching through the hymnal for hymn number 684.  Now I don't agree with mindless worship; I despise passionless, impersonal praise of my sweet Savior. But look at the words of Be Thou My Vision... How can you find more passion and purpose than what stands behind those? 

I deeply desire to live out these lyrics. I crave Jesus. Radical as it may be, all day a thought has been flashing through my head that would make many of my Samford counterparts shiver and stare blankly at me. 
My prayer today is that Jesus will take my world from me.  Release me from the hold that clothes, electronics, friends, relationships, and the list goes on, have on me.  I want to want nothing but Jesus, and today I'm closer to that than I've ever been before.  

Be Thou my vision sweet Jesus. Give me joy in the infinite treasure You are instead of the temporary pleasures I've found in this life.  

Go read that delightful hymn again.  I can't find the right letters on this keyboard for my words today...

Monday, September 26, 2011

Troubled Hearts Take Heart

This past week I've talked to so many of my beloved friends who feel like life is swallowing them whole. If you've read my last few entries you'll know I'm not accustomed to that notion myself this semester... But I've found the perfect verse to cling to and after so many of my dear one's expressing such troubled hearts lately I can't help but spread the perfection around a little. 

"I have said these things to you, that in Me you may have peace.  In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world."  
John 16:33

Like those multi-colored watercolors God uses to fill the sky with His promises, this verse is a rock-solid reminder of the covenant of my Abba Father. 'Life is hard, then you die.'  That brash worldly sentiment displayed on many a bumper sticker doesn't account for the joys Jesus brings us in this life, but it isn't totally false.  John 16:33 promises that as Christians we will suffer.  Following Christ doesn't ensure a sense of security or save us from the pains the rest of the world suffers from.  In fact, instead of guarding against them, following Christ guarantees struggles.  But when you have Jesus to lean on that brash saying needs to be altered just a bit.  Life is hard, so Jesus lived it.  He knows just what we're feeling as we feel it. Every changing emotion, every lumpy throat or welling scream also flashed through Jesus' body.  His heart beat the same as mine does, so it fell to the pit of His stomach just like mine does too. He knows, fully and completely.  

This world is full of difficult days, exhaustive work, tearful nights.  Jesus guaranteed the overwhelming feelings of loneliness and stress that wage war on us.  He isn't surprised by them and when they sneak up on us we can take solace in the thought that He planned for them ahead of time. And an even more brilliant and comforting concept is the truth that He overcame this difficult, exhaustive, tearful world.  Jesus lived in it, died in it, and rose and walked in it again.  Jesus wraps us in a love that already defeated the pains we fight feeling every day. 

This verse doesn't even need the meager explanation I've given.  Amidst the stress and strain of the world we don't need to feel beaten and battered, because Jesus holds us firmly in His sin-conquering hand.  


Monday, September 19, 2011

Three Little Words


I was playing around on Pinterest last night and this graphic just captured my attention for some reason.  I knew the premise of the verse Micah 6:8, but reading the words over top those nature pictures I felt like it was missing something. So naturally, the nerdy researcher I am, I looked it up.  The ESV version of this verse says, 


"He has told you, O man, what is good;
   and what does the LORD require of you
but to do justice, and to love kindness,

   and to walk humbly with your God?"

I'm an extreme people-pleaser. I get my joy from loving on other people. Sometimes I feel like it's a sickness how willingly I drop my own responsibilities to help someone else with theirs. Now yes, I'm aware that as self-less as that sounds it is in fact all a selfish facade.  I don't help people just because they need it. Mostly it makes me feel good when I can relieve someone's stress and put a smile on their face.  In a way it's my own form of stress relief.  

But the thing is, being a people-pleaser, showing kindness and mercy and loving on others can only bring true satisfaction when I'm living out the last part of that verse too. They may be monosyllabic, but those three words the picture left out are kind of the most important piece.

With.
Your.
God.

If I'm simply relying on myself to bring light and peace and joy into the lives of others I'm going to fail miserably every time.  I'm a naturally dark being. I'm a sinner and I know nothing of true sacrifice or suffering on the behalf of others, so how can I truly grasp what it means to show mercy? My kindness will always have a hidden motive lurking in the shadows. What justice can I dish out when I have a list of transgressions longer than the distance from Earth to that icy rock Pluto?  

That's where those three words come in.  My God steps in, and boy oh boy does He know a thing or two about suffering, sacrifice, and living a wholly sinless life.  When I'm walking with my Savior He can take that selfish people-pleaser and use her trait to bring Light to others.  Without Him the true goodness in mercy and kindness are lost but when I walk with Him I can lean on His shoulder to help me do good and trust that I'm making an actual impact.  
So I'll aim to do justly, love mercy and walk humbly, but not with the goal of spreading empty smiles. I'll only be able to truly live out Micah 6:8 if I'm in fellowship with my Jesus; for then and only then will people see HIS love, HIS mercy, HIS humility, and therefore be able to accept HIS justice and run to Him as their Savior too. 

Thursday, September 15, 2011

With God as my Atlas...

"One thing You've told me, is You are good and You love me..." - Jon Foreman, 'Your Love is Strong'


Two and a half weeks into a fresh school year and my Abba Father has blown me away. I knew it would be a struggle to live out my faith on campus in the ways Jesus called me to this summer, but struggle doesn't even begin to cover it. Between family health issues, 5 hebrew tests, and disaffiliation from my strongest support system I've literally had to lean on Jesus every second.  It's felt a little like I'm that statue Atlas holding the world on my back and it's slowly turning to a rock-solid stone.  And I don't lift weights...so that's just not working for me.
After a day of almost complete breakdown I had quite a delightful epiphany. I don't have to hold that stone world up. Jesus does it for me.
All semester I haven't been able to talk to a single sorority girl.  As part of my job in the rush process (it's complicated, I'll spare you the details, but let the record show I can't WAIT for Monday at 5:30 when I get my girls back again) I can't speak to members of the Samford sorority community in public.  So amidst a stressful and emotional couple weeks I haven't had my support system to fall on and let me tell you right now, I didn't even realize how much I depend on my friends.
But Jesus just took that need right away from me. It's funny how quickly I forget the things I learn from my Savior.  My summer was centered on placing my complete faith in Christ and all of a sudden I get back to school and I lose my mind. But tonight I'm remembering that when my burden feels too heavy to bear I have the ultimate friend to turn to, no matter which girls I can claim as confidants at the moment.
I don't know what else this school year will bring. The way it's looking so far God's really giving me some chances to use everything I learned in Destin, FL about my faith and my relationship with Him.  But my soundtrack for this exhaustive and emotional week is (along with Ben Rector's new CD, listen and let your ears be blessed) Your Love is Strong by Jon Foreman. With all the uncertainties swirling around me I can rest in the steady knowledge that my Abba is good, He loves me with a strong love and He's always there to hold me.
No magnitude of homework, loneliness, stress or cancer can shrink that infinite truth.